how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
