I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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