Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
