Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
