you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
