I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
