Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
i've created a new STD.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
