the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
