Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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