Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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