I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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