She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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