We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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