Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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