bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Randomize
