Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
