Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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