My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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