Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
