They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
