You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
You have to summon your inner elephant
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
