Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
