I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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