trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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