I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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