Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
