im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I wish i was in the wii world.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
