shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
