yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
why do cheetos always look like penises
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
