This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I just had sex on a roof
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
