If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
