she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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