The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
