I want to walk on stilts...naked
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Two words: blizzard sex
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
