I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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