He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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