I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
