I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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