Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
