Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
