So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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