grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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