Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
