I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
