hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
