she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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