You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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