You just made me feel so damn special
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
