No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
