so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
